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2012

CGI + Dramatic Goodbye Scene + Trendy News Topics × 2.2 Hours = Money Explosion

The Jerry Bruckheimer / Michael Bay Formula for Cash Money  (TJBMBFCM) is a winner in the year of our Lord 2009 where CGI animators are being born in captivity in China and shipped to the US of A via Student Visas! Apparently it works, very well. This movie was so over the top and cliche that these things actually did happen in the movie:

  • Obama-look-a-like Scientist
  • Several ‘Armageddon’ “DADDY I LOVE YOU” *touches screen* Moments.
  • Russians being uneducated and rich.
  • A crack forming between God and Man’s fingers on the roof of the Sistine Chapel.
  • John Cussack playing a writer for the 97th time in his career.
  • Yellowstone exploding into a multi-tiered super nuke explosion that doesn’t kill people standing 100ft away instantly.
  • Chinese forced labor, complete with a “dam”.
  • Unconventional separated family that all gets along.

Anyways, the list could go on and on. The fact remains if you like seeing either:

  1. Things Blow Up
  2. End of the World Movies

Then it is suggested you see this movie. If you are looking for a deep and moving insight into the human soul in times of absolute crisis, IE. the end of the world, then you won’t find it here at all; it could only be better if Keanu Reaves starred as John Cussack’s sidekick. Are you entertained by CGI special effects? If yes, go see this.

“Great CGI of California sinking into the ocean!”

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